berlaluLah sudah ramadhan....

28th October 2005

.dan sini muncul penghujung ramadhan...seperti hiba terasa di jiwa...tetapi jangan bsedih pula...syawal kan akan muncul pula...
.ramadhan ini lain sekali...bukan seperti yang sebelum ini..bukan bersama keluarga dicintai...tetapi bersama teman sebati...
.pasar ramadhan muncul tiba...pelbagai juadah pembuka selera..tetapi tahun ini tidak pula haloba...cuma cukup sekadar berdua...
..ramdhan ini pantas sekali...seperti tidak begitu dirasai...tetapi sayu agar dirahmati....tetap sentiasa diharap menanti...
.kini ramadhan berlalu lagi....pintu insaf tertutup kembali...hati akan merindui lagi...tapi hati akan terjawap nanti...tatkala ramadhan menjelma lagi....
(insyAllah)


cheers!

curryCurry

mataKuyu

26thOctober 2005

(im buzy on my last week before raya!!!)

.i'm doin somethin lateLy that makes me feel eppy. rosy cheek eppy. feel beautiful.feel wanted.feel giddy. n of course..... Lazy.. its a mutual thing but im sufferin alone. its a feel that lasts the least time yet im holding on it like it'LL last forever. alot of people will get hurt if they know. i will loose a lot of faith and hope. but i just cant let it go. i can't' let this go.but eventually iLL have to. eventually i need to. eventually itLL get trampled upon all over again n iLL hear myself go "told u so ".eventually iLL find my way back.my definition of "right decision". eventually ILL cry n cursed it never started.......... n yet it makes me feel eppy. rosy cheek eppy..........



p/s: hy JK..u feel my boredom here?..hehehe

cheers!

Lost n b Loved (always) toOur First Lady*alFatihah*

20 October 2005

cuaca begitu bersekali bersama pemergian mu...hati begitu sayu mengenang ketiadaan mu
...aku tidak pernah bersempatan menemui mu...tapi khabar mu sentiasa bersama ku....

walau jauh
aku terus berdoa...
walau tidak kenal
aku terus menadah...
walau telah pergi
aku akan berfatihah....................

semoga ALLAH mencucuri rahmat ke atas Allahyarhamah Datin Seri Endon, isteri Perdana Menteri.
(alFatihah)

[this blogger rest her thoughts for today]

findingLurve?

was offline a few days....
12 October 2005- I put up my parents pics beside my mouse here at the office…mmmm….source of inspiration?....i guess…what sort of inspiration am I lookin at here….

Two people I dearLy love….formally sitting together ..i look at abah n I always see me…im the “mini-me” of him….hehehe…I copycat eThing he does….hoping one day iLL get to b where he is today….well-respected, honest, admired by most, smart and loving….i look at mama…n I wish I had her courage, ..her confidence. her ability to stay calm even in the most outrages moments. …inappropriate times ….gosh am I looking at them…

At this very moment.. one source of inspiration I can feel from this is…their passion for each other….and after all these years…its still there…..abah with his harsh language when telling a story n ma reminding how improper someOne of his status should say anything like that…….when I was little, at lunchtime, mama will always get a phonecall…just one phone call…it may b a brief one, or a gossip or just to say hello…and its always from abah…n yep…its still there….ma’s not working anymore n abah calls sometimes more than once…..

I look at them n I envy their companionship, how they compliment each other…how one fine lady can live wit a very outspoken men n have many laughs along the way….yeah so we’ve got out hard moments….i will never forget that day we had to send laober to perak…. When I saw abah dropped a tear…or ma’s concern the day I was diagnosed when I locked the door, swearing I wont open it till I die ….(eventually I opened it..heheh…me n my drama’s)….or when ma cried even harder the day I let my first love away….they’ve got passion in them in everything they touch…..so I blame my passionate instinct on them(heheheeh)..

Most of the time I tend to wonder,,,,

Will there ever a time I look at the pic…n I see me n my companion?...that one person I love and adore ( n hate ) at the same time…the one person that will annoy me at times….but will always have my back?....will I ever find the courage to find the better half of me?...will I look back 30 years from now n realized ive been laughing all my life?....will there ever be that moment where I look around me…n all I can see are my parents’ passion of Life, that ive brought down to my children n grandchildren?

(insyaAllah)
curryCurry

...tidak mahu ku ingat lagi**..(sing it like awie!!.haha)

11 October 2005

...lalu aku terima lamarannya....pagi ini...aku sahut cintanya...
semalaman aku pikirkan....adakah ini suatu manisan hidup..adakah ini kebahagian manusia?...adakah ini seperti yang aku cari?...

...lalu aku terima salamnya...pagi ini....aku sahut hasratnya...
semalaman aku tersenyum....semalaman persoalannya berlegar..adakah ini yang akan aku sayangi?..hingga akhir dan ke kubur nanti?...adakah ini seperti yang aku impi?

...lalu dunia berubah kini...semalam hanya tinggal mimpi...aku senyum seindah pagi...aku kini telah disayangi....hidup kini bermakna lagi..

....ini semua pada hari ini....dunia sudah berubah kini........
11 Oktober 2001.
suatu tarikh tidak dilupa lagi...suatu tarikh kau hadir sendiri...
suatu rasa suatu erti...cuba ditafsir..si gadis ini...

suatu tarikh yang harus aku benci...
suatu tarikh tidak perlu diulangi...
suatu tarikh yang amat aku rindui....
suatu tarikh perlu aku lupai....

cheers!

p/s: and after all these years...after all these tears....i still do look back....n i still longed for it to last....but it's something of the past....he's something that didnt last......

;<
(i feel numb...numb in the heart (aaaaaaaah!!...drama aja aku nie....piff!)

** from the song tragedi oktober- by our very own awie(u rawk dude!)

mual.....

7th October 2005

rasa janggal ini..
tiba-tiba menghampiri....
tatkala bersendiri....
pada malam ini.....

rasa pahit ini....
tiba-tiba menusuki..
tatkala mentari...
sudah lama pergi.....

rasa mual ini....
terusan menghampiri..
peluh pula yang ku rasai..
mata ini perlu ditutupi...

terusan rasa ini...
menghampiri tekak ini...
mencengkam tika dilamuni...
mata ini harus ditutupi....

lemah badan lelah dirasai...
seperti ditumbuk bertubi-tubi...
seperti hendak mati dirasai..
mual ini kembali lagi......

p/s: MyMEds not kickin in so fineLy this ramadhan...demmit...(Uwweeeek!!!!)

curryCurry.

this soothing pink...

5th october 2005

im wearing pink...
with no black ink...
there's lots to think...
but im sticking to pink....

im breathing pink...
with no words to link...
ure eyes started to blink...
as i take off this mink...

im sweating pink...
as im trying to wink...
ure trying to think..
as im going to brink...

im wearing pink...
im ready for that drink...
altho u stop to think....
here's to this soothing pink......

p/s: "....pink is my favourite colour......"-sing it like aerosmith does....huhuhuhuhuhu

cheers!!!!!!!
(eh takleh lagi....puasa la joe!...heheheh)